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Oh Tattoos.

19 September 2013 — No comments

Breathe mom, I don't love them. But I don't hate them either, can we just get that out there? Truth be told, I've considered them a few times. Proooobably never seriously considered them. Proooobably because of my PawPaws threats to skin them off (I'm not even joking a little bit. and neither is he) but probably mostly because I can't even help but picture them on my skin when i'm 80. And it's not a pretty picture, folks. To remind myself (my mom) that I really never want one, I've created a little list to reassure myself why, for me, it would only be the worst idea ever.

1. Because one day, my skin wiiiill be 80 years old. and that snazzy signature on my boob that I thought was a really good idea will have people staring at my rack all day long. and not because those babies are hot stuff. the heck does that even say?


2. Because inevitably I would end up being 
this girl, who thought it was a super good idea to tattoo 56 stars on her face. yeah, her face. I know it would be me, because sometimes I have really good ideas that are actually the worst ideas in the world. Kind of like the time I thought it was a good idea to throw rocks boulders into the middle of the road, you know. for fun. And then when said boulder hit the windshield of a moving car (also how the FLIP did I not see it coming?) my 5th grade bubble butt decided to book it down the side of the road. like the car couldn't catch me, what? I know. So anyways reason number two. Because I would be star-spangled face over here who has wasted the last three years of her life trying to sue the tattoo shop saying she only wanted 3 and they accidentally gave her 53 extras while she dozed off. first of all, you asked for stars on your face. your fault. secondly, good luck trying to convince anyone you fell asleep while getting a tattoo...on your face. yeah. 

3. Because tattoo artists mess up. I don't know how, but they do. And that's one etch-a-sketch that can't be undone, my friends. 


Case in point.. I'll just be over here with my boring white skin while you're over there living you're life. It's might get better, but your tattoo never will. 

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